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<title>Can You Teach Me How To Feel? Real? by Botanophillic_Zombie</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27424093">Can You Teach Me How To Feel? Real?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Botanophillic_Zombie/pseuds/Botanophillic_Zombie'>Botanophillic_Zombie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>tbh i aint named this yet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(using simp sarcastically. do not make fun of men who are genuinely good men, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Ive decided to write whatever i want now, Romance, Technically?, and i want to write about my oc who simps for his wife, i will eat you</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:00:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>762</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27424093</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Botanophillic_Zombie/pseuds/Botanophillic_Zombie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Koppány Farkas was not given a fortune life. He was not born into the sunlight he now walks in. He reflects on how grateful he is to hold María’s hand.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>María Guadalupe Montes-Rivera(OC)/Koppány Farkas(OC)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Can You Teach Me How To Feel? Real?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>(Title is from I am not a robot by MARINA.)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>            Koppány Farkas was a self-sure man. He knew his strengths and he knew his limits, and he knew how to cover for himself when he was rolled onto his weak side. As he walked, he felt his blood beat strong- felt his weight move precisely and exactly- he knew he carried himself as a well oiled machine. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>When he entered his sleep, the chained beasts of his mind knew him. They inclined their heads or gave bitter smiles, some- </span>
  <em>
    <span>very few, </span>
  </em>
  <span>but still some, freely embraced him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He breathed in, and his lungs swelled strong like twin bellows. He exhaled, and the air blew cleanly out his nose, swift like mountain wind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The scar tissue along his ribcage pulled, flexible yet strong, markers of battles won and lost. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Koppány was in no way unsure of himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But still… </span>
</p><p>
  <span>María sang from the kitchen, beautiful and joyous, keeping herself company while she washed the dishes on her chore list. Koppány’s lover, a woman beyond anyone's dreams. She was perfect, in her funny little ways. He could relax around her, be </span>
  <em>
    <span>naked</span>
  </em>
  <span> around her. Koppány had traveled a long way through the cold and dark. He had been marked over and over again by pain and loss, suffering and betrayal, sharp bitterness and frantic unrest, only to finally lay himself bare and shaking upon a pale shore. He was left exposed and open then, nothing hidden as he was bathed in the fullness of María's sunlight.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had seen it all, and she had accepted him. Loved him for what he was… rightfully given wounds and all. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>For all his cavernous shadows he had given her a lamp, and she braved the unknown that was </span>
  <em>
    <span>knowing</span>
  </em>
  <span> him with her head held high. She did not fear what was in him. Moreso- she did not fear what </span>
  <em>
    <span>he </span>
  </em>
  <span>feared was in him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The dark nights he would sit alone- hands over his head- mind barely keeping itself from shattering. María would be there then, warm and solid in his lap. Her beautiful eyes boreing into his. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m here.” She would say. And on the better nights, that’s all it took. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>       “Koppány!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Oh… And there she was now. Calling him with a voice like glittering water. A voice like rainbow refractions, the light that scattered around the room when the sun hit the prisms. A voice like nectar, a voice like shimmering sea glass…</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Koppány?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A voice so beautiful he had forgotten to respond.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ah- i’m awake. What is- er.. Yes?” He replied, stuttering, unprepared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was there- María, his light, his love, his darling, she was there walking to the couch where he sat, lost in his thoughts, drowning in the silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She sat next to him, smiling and tossing her head to clear her eyes of hair. He could only smile back, reaching out to cup her face in a hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Koppány was a warrior man. His hands had grasped swords and bows, whittled arrows and unleashed them against fragile hearts. If he closed his eyes, sometimes he would feel the blood on his fingers. Warm and thick, fat drops and gorged rivulets tickling the undersides on his arms as they ran. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>María leaned her head into him. There was no hesitation, there was no fear, no worry in her relaxing muscles. She closed her eyes, leaning against him warm and heavy, as a lion. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...Maríka.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mhmm?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You are brave, to love me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He saw human viscera. He saw bones, he saw himself with her silken hair in one hand, his sword drawn in the other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Such images plagued him sometimes- </span>
  <em>
    <span>terrorized</span>
  </em>
  <span> him even. Making him fearful to be near her. To be near </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>María opened her eyes, blinking, before leaning forward- right up against his chest. Koppány felt his heartbeat rushing in his ears, felt the flushed reddening of his cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>María simply adjusted herself- one thigh, then the next, until she was sitting squarely in his lap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I </span>
  <em>
    <span>am </span>
  </em>
  <span>brave,” She said, brushing a bit of his hair aside, “but not because I love you. I am brave because I </span>
  <em>
    <span>allow</span>
  </em>
  <span> myself to love you, I think. In spite of everything else.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>In spite of everything else.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Koppány’s hands found her upper back, and she brought one of her own forward, smoothing down a portion of his beard. Her hands smelled like their cherry tree dish soap, sharp and unyielding. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gently, Koppány turned his head to graze her hand with his lips, and left the softest kisses along her knuckles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I will love you,” He whispered, “In spite of everything else.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If Koppány was a kinnie, he would probably kin Hozier. </p><p>Thanks for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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